].My Testimony (Addendum)
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Addendum
I would like to take the time to elaborate somewhat on the events described above. The timing of the events that I have described above overlap each other so hopefully you can stick with…
Now let me address the pastor that I met who “discipled” me
for approximately 3 ½ to 4 years. This pastor led a home group. The first time I
attended this fellowship (95’ or 96’) I was awed with the move of the Spirit.
Never seen or experienced anything like it in my life, up to that point. What
many of you may consider common everyday occurrences in your church now, I had
never experienced anything like it, live. God got my attention that night. It
was approximately a year after my mom’s death. I had a girlfriend whose parents
were attending this fellowship so I attended.
Not soon after this, I was taken under wing by this pastor. He said the Lord
showed him that I was like a “cork bobbing in the sea” with really no direction
(which as absolutely true). The Lord said that he was to be a father to me. As I
said previously, when I began to meet with him on a weekly basis for personal
ministry, I cried in
his arms every single session for the first 8-10 weeks straight.
I was dealing with a lot of issues with my mom and her death,
judgment of her, and the pain and brokenness I experienced through it all. The
struggles of handling alone for a whole year a mortgage, while only working part
time, and all the different financial burdens that were in a sense dumped on me
because of her death, had taken its toll.
Because of these sessions, I received a lot of healing that I needed. The
relationship with my pastor and I really bonded because of that and I received
him as a father in my life.
So for 3 ½ to 4 years I worked with him in the ministry of
this church. I later was baptized in water and after that received the Spirit.
However, I don’t know what I was baptized in at the time. The true gospel and
its obedience was not an issue to me, yet.
To make a very long story short, the relationship between that pastor and I that
started out purely as a father/son became defiled by sin. The defiling continued
for the better part of those years that I was with him.
A few years later, in Nov. of 1997, I broke up with my girlfriend. My pastor and
I began to pray in agreement for a wife. I remember praying specific things that
I wanted in my wife, not necessarily selfish, but really characteristics of a
virtuous woman. One of them I remember clearly was to have woman that would come
along side me in whatever God called to me to do and be.
One month later, late December of 1997, my future wife arrived at my church. I
didn’t know it then, but in August of 98’ we were married.
Now, I first met Clarence, my apostolic
brother, in July/August of 1998, about a month before I got married. He came
with his wife, and few of his “brood” (6 or 7 kids I forget which), and talked
with me extensively, sort of like a father to a son whose about to be married.
My wife, then fiancée, already knew Clarence for many years so the gathering was
really to find out who I was. The gathering lasted longer than expected. We even
arrived to church that Saturday night late, but Clarence was well-pleased with
me and my relationship with God so his family prayed for us and blessed us
before they left.
During my years in this fellowship I became a deacon, worship leader, and
administrator of the church. All responsibilities that I look back on now were
too great for me to handle with a wife and growing family. But I also realize
when I moved into those positions I was single.
Because of the defilement of the relationship between my pastor and me, my wife
and I left the church, but not before our brother Clarence held a conference for
that church somewhere near then end of the summer of 99’. Although the theme was
the End Times, Clarence did address salvational issues with the Jewish roots
apostolic perspective.
It created quite a stir in our church after he left, but our
pastor came out with “Well, there are 3 baptisms. There is a baptism of the
Father, a baptism of the Son, and a baptism of the Holy Ghost.” He was trying to
explain away the necessity of baptism in Jesus name for salvation.
My pastor even admitted he wasn’t sure what he pronounced at baptism. He thought
he said, “in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, in Jesus name” but he
wasn’t sure. I could go into so much more, but I’m trying to be as brief as
possible.
When I left the church, I wanted to leave and knew God wanted me out of there as
soon as possible, but I didn’t know why it was so painful and why I had such
mixed emotions. I asked Jesus many months later why He had us break apart in the
way He did and He told me, “To save you and your family.” To say the least, I
was broken again by His love.
A year after leaving that fellowship, I was finally so broken that I was able to
express to my wife in detail all the defilement of that father/son relationship
from beginning to end. That was such a relief. I felt such shame, guilt, and
self-condemnation that I stopped growing in Him. But when I did confess to my
wife what did take place it began the road back.
While this took place, we were attending another church (for about 2 years in
total) that was not “apostolic”. They believed in all aspects of response in
Acts 2:38, but they cut it up and butchered it and gave it in pieces. To them,
as long as you repented and believed you were saved. They did have their
baptismal services (originally I thought it was in Jesus’ name, but when I left
that church in 2002, that became unclear to me). They did encourage the baptism
in the Spirit, as a necessity to overcome, but not necessarily salvational.
When I was confronted by Clarence, in the summer of 99’, regarding the true
gospel and obedience thereof, it began a personal quest in my life to know the
truth and receive it from no man any further, lest it be revealed to me by His
Spirit. I left that summer of 99’ searching to see if the scriptures and
interpretation presented to me was true. Without a doubt in my heart, I found it
to be true.
During late 99’ and early 00’ I was at a job that I was able
to do my job while being on the internet. I began browsing through
apostolic.net and came across
Bro. David Bernard’s book,
The Oneness of God.
I remember reading and consuming that book on the internet so fast. I never
preached or taught the trinity. It really was a non-debatable issue to me. I had
just assumed it’s truth through years of presentation as truth. Never really
looked into it until I read Bro. Bernard’s book. The belief that I held to
concerning the trinity washed off my mind and heart like water off duck’s back.
I too, like the salvation and obedience issue, began to search out the
scriptures, only to find that their truly is one God, without persons, and His
name is Jesus.
Because I was unsure of my water baptism, my wife and I went to our community
pool in our housing development and baptized each other calling on the name of
Jesus. She too, was baptized because she didn’t remember what she was baptized
into either. It had been so many years previous, even before me. So eventually,
we were properly buried. We had already received the Spirit years before and He
was faithful to lead us into this truth.
I used to lead a home/care group in my house on Friday’s with 2 couples, both
younger than us in the faith, however one couple is younger and the other couple
is older in years than us.
I’ve been able to baptize 3 of them in the name of Jesus, and see two receive the Spirit.
Today, I am gratefully and happily married to a virtuous woman
named Patricia and have
three children - Lydia (9),
John Daniel (7), and
Deborah (5) [as of October
24th,
2008 anyway ].
Continued in - "It is Written... Introduction"
Last Updated: 10/24/2008
© copyright 2008 Jesus M. Ruiz
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